Friday, March 29, 2013

The Art of Womanliness - What Can Manly Men Expect of Women? | The Art of Manliness

What Can Manly Men Expect of Women? | The Art of Manliness:

"In some ways, the new movement towards a return to traditional manliness needs women to be on board to be successful. After all, if you have men opening doors and asking women on real dates, and they’re just laughing in your face, that’s clearly not going to work out too well. And if you have men striving to be their best, but they feel like women aren’t even trying, you’ve got a recipe for creating strained relations between the sexes and bitter and disillusioned men who think all women are an unappealing mess who are not worth the trouble of dealing with (something you already see in certain online communities)."
This article veers a little into men-sounding-like-slapped-babies for the middle part, and tries really hard not to complain about how confusing women are while failing to do that, but this is a good point: if we're expecting our men to clean up and act like gentlemen, if we're cheering them on when they do, why aren't we also cleaning up and being good?

Personally, I don't believe that getting dressed up is sexist, nor to I believe that it's playing into the Patriarchy to want to look good--but I will admit it's a fine line. Wearing a dress you feel like you look good in isn't that far off from wearing a dress you think guys will think you look good in; the difference, as I see it, is in the confidence behind the choice. If you feel comfortable and you think you look good, then you're there, and there's no reason to slut it up or to downplay the sexy. Just be sure that your ideas are well-considered, and that they come from you, not from outside opinions--man or woman--or from the totally artificial images in ads.

But back to the point; fair is fair, and if we expect men to put in a little effort, we need to be willing to do the same. A guy in a nice suit shouldn't have to drag around a girl in a stained sweatshirt; the level of effort involved isn't fair, and the equality isn't there.

Because I think that's what The Art of Manliness--and all the posts on The Art of Womanliness in reaction to it--are missing; this whole gender issue is about fairness, and something close to equality. And it's about giving a damn. And it's about meeting in the middle.

If we're all 100% equal, then we're all slobby morons, but if we want to try to be better, and I do, then we should be willing to be better together. If we want our men to be better people--the husbands, the sons, the brothers, the coworkers, the friends--then we have to treat them better, and we need to be better ourselves. Women complain about double standards, and there have, historically been some really bad ones, but wanting a guy to be nice to you while you scream and harp on him is not fair; that's just switching the double standard in your favor. It's still a double standard. That's not even sexism, that's a basic issue of being a good person, of respecting others.

So yeah. Don't let a guy use that against you, because a guy who only cleans up and treats you well as a matter of hostage to get you to behave how he wants is Not A Good Guy. But a guy who puts in an effort at grooming and honor and being upstanding should get the same from you--not because he strongarmed you into it, not because he deserves it, but because the proper way to treat someone who treats you well is to treat them well.


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Quote of the Day: What Defines You? - Lifehack

Quote of the Day: What Defines You? - Lifehack:
do-you-want-to-know-who-you
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30sec Tip: The Best Way to Connect With People - Lifehack

30sec Tip: The Best Way to Connect With People - Lifehack:
write a handwritten note
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Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Inspirations - The colors of SKYFALL | The Red Pen of Doom

The colors of SKYFALL | The Red Pen of Doom:
The colors of SKYFALL

These are the colors in all the scenes in Skyfall...and now I kinda want to make a quilt with this as the pattern.
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Three Things - Pets

http://weheartthis.com/2013/03/25/3-things-pets/

First Pet: Technically, a pair of white rabbits named Cottontail and Peter (hey, we were kids!), who were fluffy and white and really dumb, but they weren't much for snuggling or being in the house (they lived in a hutch outside on the back porch), so I count my first pet as Rhiannon, the blue-point Siamese we have when I was eight. She was a tiny, skinny little thing, and we weren't all that nice to her, but she loved us and we loved her, and we were all devastated when she got Feline Leukemia when we moved back to the states.

...I don't seem to have any pictures of her, specifically, but she looks like that one up there. But darker. And sort of skinnier, but not as skinny as those super-model looking cats that turn up when you search for skinny cats!


Current Pets: Right now, just Ninja. Her real name is Melissa Johnson the Cat, but Ninja suits her better. She's sneaky. She moves suddenly. She hides in strange places where cats don't usually either go or fit. She's a wonderful little furbaby, and she's about ten years old, give or take. I want to get her a kitty-friend when I get my own apartment, and sometime in the next few weeks, I'm going to get a mini fishtank and fill it with little live-bearers who take care of themselves, look pretty, and don't root up and eat all the plants...but what I really want are goldfish. Another thing to wait on my own place for, though, because they need bigger tanks.


Dream Pet: A dragon! Game of Thrones is making me want one all over again, but I want more of the smart and charming Pern kind than the vicious and burning Westeros kind. (I'd be happy with a Pern movie, really, what with dragon-CGI getting so good and all lately). If not that, then a unicorn.


If not that, then something exotic but real like an ocicat, or a savannah. Or, like, a really huge cat and a really tiny cat at the same time.

What about you?


Thought Question - Life is better when you...



http://thoughtquestions.com/archives/3768

Life is better when you...

  • know what you want out of it
  • know where you're going and where you've been, and what both mean to who you are right now
  • have someone to walk through it with, no matter who that someone is
  • take time to appreciate the good things in your life
  • sleep well and eat well
  • dare to dream
  • go to new places, so you have new contexts and new awareness and new experience
  • aren't afraid--of anything
  • do the things you love to do
  • have purpose, no matter what that purpose is
How would you answer the question?

I Want To Go To There - David Bowie Is - A Musical Innovator & British Cultural Icon | The Culture Concept Circle

David Bowie Is - A Musical Innovator & British Cultural Icon | The Culture Concept Circle: "

A major exhibition, and their fastest-selling event ever, is now on at the Victoria and Albert Museum (V &A) at London until July 28, 2013 . The show is entitled David Bowie Is. For David Bowie fans the V & A at London have laid on their dream show. From his bolero to a fabulous coat fashioned on the British flag there are 300 objects including handwritten lyrics, original costumes, photography, set designs, album artwork and rare performance material from the past five decades."

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Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Quote - How to Listen to Your Life - Mark Nepo - Oprah.com

How to Listen to Your Life - Mark Nepo - Oprah.com:

"our identity and the reach of our gifts can only be known in relationship. The wave would not exist if not for the reach of the ocean that lifts it, and the mountain would not exist if not for the steadfastness of the earth that supports it."

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Happiness - How Compassion Leads to Happiness - Martha Beck's SALVE Cure - Oprah.com

How Compassion Leads to Happiness - Martha Beck's SALVE Cure - Oprah.com:

"SALVE: self-acceptance, love, value, esteem."

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Life - Julie Morgenstern's To-Do List Advice - Oprah.com

Julie Morgenstern's To-Do List Advice - Oprah.com:

Basically boils down to: Avoid any of these things getting on your To Do List:

  1. Tedious things that should be done but don't bring you joy, and can be delegated to someone else who can do them better and will like doing so
  2. Things you feel pressured to do that you're only doing out of guilt, like hanging out with people you don't like
  3. Anything that makes someone else's issues your own, like continually reminding people of things they keep forgetting, but that don't have anything to do with you
  4. Tasks driven by worry, that could be easily fixed with automation, like remembering to pay bills that have an option for automatic payment
  5. Things that put all the stress and weight on you, like shopping for a whole party when you could make it a pot luck or delegate the parts
Good advice, I think!



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Quote - Jackson Kiddard


"The Law of Attraction, Power of Positive Thinking and Intention are all extremely powerful tools to help you attract and manifest your highest potential. However, they are all secondary to intuition. Unless you are walking on the path that your soul knows it must walk on none of these tools will work properly for you. If you're living a fear based life and believe that your dreams aren't real, then the Law of Attraction will give you unrealized dreams, the Power of Positive thinking and Intention will turn into hopeless wishing because you're taking action based on fear. Once you cross over and say "Yes!" to what you soul knows it should be doing, only then will these tools be of any use to you! We are not five sensory beings; we have 6 senses, intuition being the sixth and most important sense. Once you learn to trust and take action only on your own guidance the world will bow at your feet." 

- Jackson Kiddard, author & polymath.


Source:
- The Daily Love Email

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Comics Post - Wondermark » Archive » #922; In which Spawning is threatened

Wondermark » Archive » #922; In which Spawning is threatened:
I don't know for certain that I'm NOT a Mogwai, JAMES, I was ADOPTED
'via Blog this'

Currently 3-19-2013



Time: 8:87

Place: Bedroom (which is also my office) at home.

Eating: Nothing, because my stomach is all wibbly from excitement!

Drinking: Soon, it'll be good old fashioned tea.

Reading: Not much lately; I haven't had much time this week, and we're in an inbetween / discussion week at school, so I haven't read anything for that. I started Beautiful Creatures, though, and I'm loving it so far.

Watching: I wish it was the Veronica Mars movie! Actually, it's the clock.

Listening: To people wake up in the house and the birds outside.

Making: A mess, packing. Less recently, I bought crayons! I'm not sure what I'm going to do with them, but I discovered all the special-collection packs Crayola has out right now and I couldn't resist--rock n roll? pirates? space? I'm there!

Promoting: Incidental Twin! I'll get new stuff up when I get back from ICFA, sometime.

Hating: Not much-- I'm on a roll. Maybe my defective adrenal glands that keep telling me that excitement is the same thing as mortal fear? Because that sucks.

Exploring: What it means to be a writer and a crafter NOW, as opposed to when I started doing all this stuff. Things have Changed, my friends, and it's a valid occupation now...which I haven't quite wrapped my head around...

Anticipating: ICFA!

Planning: How not to be a gibbering idiot when I get there. The thing about being shy, introverted, and not really all that quick on my feet in live social situations is that they're terrifying, and the more they mean to me, the more I have to think of things to say and do ahead of time! Mostly it doesn't matter--you can't guess conversations and other people's reactions-- but it's like a safety net. It's for comfort.

What're you up to?

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Let's Bring Back - Parlors and Game Nights

Ever since I read Let's Being Back..., I've been looking for things I want to find a way to incorporate into my life, and now that I'm without my Game Night Pizza Club (hi guys! I miss you!), I've decided that the whole Game Night And Parlor Culture Thing is one of the things I want to Bring Back.

Of course, being me, I'm envisioning something in that random Venn Diagram overlap between Victorian, 1950s or 60s, and Geekiness.

Like so:
Board Games

Dice Games

Card Games

Cocktails

Finger Foods

Togetherness & Totally Inappropriate Conversations With People You Love

(I couldn't find a picture that conveyed this)

Because, really, what's the point of all this fun if you can't say whatever you want, whenever you want to, in the privacy of your own home, with the people you like best in the world--especially when there's alcohol involved?

What I'm aiming for is a day each week, or each month, when people can get together in a nice safe place and reconnect, play games--even (probably mostly) really simple ones--that involve dice or cards and just being together with your friends. I feel like people don't do that much anymore, and I was really lucky to have something like two years of weekly Game Nights.

And I miss it.

And I'm darn sure that most of the wider culture around me could do with a little in-home-with-your-friends fun and togetherness.

So let's bring it back, guys! 




Sources:
- Board games: http://www.geek.com/articles/games/5-board-games-every-geek-should-have-2012066/
- Dice: http://www.123rf.com/photo_10365320_some-board-games-colorful-dice.html
- Geek stuff: http://dabbled.org/2009/07/dabbled-interview-geeky-fun-with-the-domestic-scientist.html
- Munchkin: http://fireandchops.blogspot.com/2012/01/munchkin-design-analysis.html
- Sliders: http://workathomemom247.blogdumps.net/2012/09/04/cant-miss-finger-foods-for-your-adult-themed-party/
- Cocktails: http://cltampa.com/dailyloaf/archives/2010/12/22/holiday-gifts-for-cocktail-geeks#.UTuUHhxQHzw

A Happy - Adam Hills - Live In The Suburbs - YouTube

Adam Hills - Live In The Suburbs - YouTube: ""

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Science! - PLASMA RAIN? - YouTube

PLASMA RAIN? - YouTube:


Best comment ever:

CrackerOfGraham 1 day agoPLASMA RAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIN
SOME STAY DRY AND OTHERS FEEL THE massive amounts of radiation slowly giving them cancer,

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Thursday, March 7, 2013

Babysitter's Tales - Cheese Feet

Today was a good day with the kidlets. Mostly, really, it was a good day with the baby, who was home all day (as is usual for a baby) while A1 and R were at school. He was in a good mood today, snacking and practicing standing on his head and dancing to all the songs on the kiddie channel.

At some point, I gave him one of those cheese-goop-and-cracker-stick snack things, and he ate it the way you're supposed to by dipping the crackers--but he only scooped up a little cheese each time, so there was still most of it left when he was done with the crackers. So I gave him some cheezits, and then some chips, and it was still there, most of the cheese, only now it had chip bits in it, too.

He still wanted to eat it, but he didn't like how it felt on his finger, and while I was trying to convince him that it was fine, we'd wash him up when he was done, he discovered that action figure feet make pretty good little spoons.

So he'd dip the dude's feet in the cheese, scoop it out, laugh at it and go "Cheese feet!" every time before sucking the goop off the feet. It was hilarious. I wish I'd taken pictures!


Other silly things today:
- He's decided he doesn't like the little beany stuffed fish they have unless it's looking away from him and not touching him.
- Iron Man with no arms, one leg and no head is better than any other action figure there is.
- Anything that can kick something else in the pee-pee is the funniest thing in the world.
- Traffic jams are the best thing to do with toy cars--especially when headless Iron Man can then come through and smash them all because they can't escape.


What goofy stories do your kids or babysit-ees give you?

Geek Shirt Of The Day - Loki Charms

Monday, March 4, 2013

Monday Mugshot 3-4-13 - Drink of Choice


Inspiration - Me

One Year Ago - March 4-10

I haven't found a widget yet that will do this automatically, but, you know, I kind of like looking myself to see what I was doing a year ago this week. This time around we were...

Let's see what we were doing two years ago...
  • Huh. Two years ago, I didn't post anything this week at all!
What were you doing a year ago this week?

Sunday, March 3, 2013

The Rise Of The Artist, You Are The Future by $techgnotic on deviantART

The Rise Of The Artist, You Are The Future by $techgnotic on deviantART:

A pretty great, but not really all that super-indepth (because it's pretty short) article about the optimistic rise of the right-brained, artsy types. Worth reading as a starting point, and now I want to know more specifically what this idea involves!

In the meantime, here's some questions presented in the article, and I'm totes gonna answer them.

"QUESTIONS FOR THE READER

Do you believe your art advances the human condition?

I believe art as a whole advances humanity toward a better condition. The way people seem to see 'the human condition' is as this mishmash of good intentions and bad actions that we can't control, and I think that in that sense, it's an excuse. I think the actual 'human condition', when we look at humanity as a whole, is a striving to understand better and to improve everything, and things go wrong because we don't understand well enough. Art is one of the ways that we can understand ourselves, our world, and our ideals--as well as the bad things that have happened to us that would otherwise just sit there in our subconsciousness and undo all our hard work.

I don't think about actively advancing all humanity when I'm writing or making art; I think about the one thing I'm trying to do right then, and then later what it all means, and later try to make it something more elevated. But I also think, firmly and deep down inside me, that the very act of pointedly creating something is a Big Deal, that it changes something in the fabric of the world, because so many people seem to never create anything, and direct all their energy into actively destroying what others create. That's both sad and dangerous, the first step to despotism and crushing souls and all that.

Being allowed to make things, to learn music, to express yourself is really what's important. Not having this knowledge, this outlet, this chance is what makes lives hopeless. And what's killing the school system, at least in part.


Do you believe that those with more creative rather than systems-oriented thought processes are destined to assume the leadership role at this point in human history?  Do you see evidence of this happening already?

What a leading question! This would be stricken from the record in a courtroom.

I think that it's very possible that as machines take over the grunt work, we'll have more and more chance, as a culture, to be more creative. I also think that as tech advances, the people who create that will have to be more creative, so it's well possible that we'll be moving into a more right-brained sort of world. But I don't think that the really super-creative types are suited to traditional leadership ideas, and I think that the whole idea of how leadership works is going to have to change for anyone but clinical-thinkers, long-term-planners, pragmatic types to get in any sort of big-time control of how the culture and the country goes. More creativity in these systems? Sure, we're already getting that in how businesses are arranging themselves, how the President wants kids to read and grow things and play with science, how CEOs like Richard Branson are becoming super-rich on out-there ideas. But they're still all running corporations and systems that basically crush creativity without a whole lot of campaigning to keep creativity involved, and there are still huge swathes of people who seem determined to cut schools and curriculums, to stop people from even seeing how other countries and cultures do things, in controlling all information.

We'll need structural changes, not just right-brained or left-brained ideas.


Have you ever experienced a knee-jerk fear of advancing, accelerating technology "taking over" all human relevancy? Or have you always felt secure in technology remaining a tool serving a human master no matter how advanced the A.I. becomes?

I don't think we can predict how future tech will affect society. If we could, Scifi would be a hell of a lot more accurate and people would stop ghettoizing it as make-believe. I think if you do have a knee-jerk reaction against tech, you're going to get left behind, because the only thing that can stop the forward movement, for better or worse, is a post-apocalyptic sort of return to the pre-tech ways. I also think, however, that people shouldn't focus entirely on tech, because there's merit in doing things for yourself--personal merit in understanding yourself and how your world works, and cultural merit in knowing how things work and how to do them the old ways to both preserve old information (which is history, really) and to buffer the threats of technological collapse. People need to know how to think and do for themselves so that we can see and avoid the bad options the future lines up for us before they become presents that are harder and harder to change.

I do think, though, that freeing human hands from base grunt labor is a good thing. It would leave only those who honestly enjoy, say, picking fruit or digging ditches or working lines in factories, however few those people are, and the rest can have the freedom to pursue what they really want to do. And that should be good, across the board, for the people and the culture, and, eventually, the whole world.

I think the situation being presented here is less a right-brain revolution, and more a freedom-to-do-what-you're-passionate-about revolution. Not everyone freed up with be some great smothered artist; most will be mediocre, or will be interested in things so niche that most people won't care, or will be free to balance books for a living or something. But the point will be that they're free. That they're there by choice, not necessity, and if they come to hate it later, they can do something else. People will have the chance to be happier, more engaged, and hopefully less likely to destroy things out of floating hatred of the world.


Are we at the apex of what is achievable technologically and now, as Auren Hoffman suggests, about to enter a Next Phase of human society beyond sheer survival emphasizing the arts?"

Um, no? There's always something more achievable by tech. History has always shown this fact. We're not at the end of history or progress or anything unless we destroy ourselves. There's no such thing as a pinacle of progress, because it's always moving on, and these last two hundred years since industrialization, at a much faster rate.

What we're at is a time when we can sort of decide how we want the future to be. We in the west have been past a point of sheer survival for ages; we're getting to where survival isn't even a worry--but we're not there yet, because there are still people inside this own country that are starving, or resorting to crime because it's the only way to get by. We're not done making this country a good and clean and well-educated place by a long shot. But we're getting to a place in our relationship with tech and time and the future where we can start to see how we can fix these problems, if we commit to fixing them--and that'll take a lot of creativity--and then how we can get those ideas out into the world and get everyone caught up. We can define whether we'll have a future of the privileged west helping other countries to help themselves, if they want it, or if we're going to spend all our effort conquering and imposing and blowing stuff up. We have options now. We need to look at them honestly, and decide that the more humane side of our culture and our species is the one we need to foster, not the barbarian, the killer, the despot.

Art, creativity, music, self-awareness, hope, compassion, creative thinking, working for good and better--these are all humane, and they should be chosen over the badness.

--
So what do you think, readers? How would you answer these questions?

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Friday, March 1, 2013

Monthly Me - March 2013


I don't know why I don't smile in these pictures more. Trying to look cool and mysterious, I guess.

Weight: Down three pounds!
Hair: Better, but I still have no idea what to do with it here.
Poems: I'll be figuring out how to write ghazals this month!

Currently:
- Reading: A Conspiracy of Alchemists and Nine Coaches Waiting
- Drinking: Celestial Seasonings' Pumpkin Chai
- Working On: Revisions, Critiques, Patching my skirt, organizing my room
- Favorite Song: My entire Florence + Machine playlist
- Looking forward to: ICFA! David Bowie's new album! Several books I can't afford to buy! Painting my nails when I'm done typing this!

This Month I Will:
- Finish this book, hell or high water
- Try not to melt into a puddle if I get to actually talk to Neil Gaiman
- Eat better
- Take more pictures

What're you doing this month?

Inspiration

101 Things Update - Feb's End 2013



How can it possibly be March already?? I feel like February was shorter than it's already shorter-than-other-months length.

I decided that my project will be less about single-accomplishment goals and more about improving my life and myself as a whole, and so that's become my focus--and I needed a focus!

Here's what I've done on the 101 Things project:
  • I determined that I was going to do 101 Things in 1001 Days, and in the second full week of Feb, I took a few days to come up with my list -- which is still not time-set, but a lot of that is because I don't have any concept of what I'll even have time for after Grad, and I need to focus on that right now, first. But the list is made, and I'm easing into it.
  • Find a way to have a library so I don't have to keep getting rid of my books -- I haven't built or bought anything yet, what with money being tight again, but I've been looking at all the cheap ways people organize their books online, and I'm gathering ideas.
  • Plant a garden and keep it alive throughout this project -- I planted cilantro and basil, and they're both sprouting up! No leaves yet, but I can see their little rooty feet sticking out of the seeds. Next up is an order from Burpee for a selection of their patio-bred veggies, and then I'll be planting and sprouting them before the end of the month.
  • Find small, cheap, but pretty home-decor projects -- I found these super-cute little shadowboxes, and painted them. The outside of the big one and the inside of the small one are sort of an ocean-turquoise, and the inside of the big one and the outside of the little one are a Greek-isles sort of blue. I'm working on making them into pretty little displays. Pictures probably some time this week or next.
  • Keep up with penpals -- I wrote four letters this past weekend! Even with no actual outgoing mail slots in this whole apartment complex!
  • Make a mock-lambskin rug -- Not started yet, but I sourced the webbing-stuff and I picked the ideal yarn out. Now it's just a matter of saving up!
  • Finish Married To The Wind and send it out for publication -- I've got ten days to get through four hundred pages and make them sparkle. I think I can do it.
  • Write a poem a week -- I wrote at least one a week this whole month, and sometimes wrote more than one. Feb was sonnets, and I think some of them were even pretty good!
  • Lose 40 pounds -- I'm down three pounds! Whoo!
  • Go back to yoga -- I did a full week and it made my back feel better, and then I moved into the next week and it made my back feel worse and so it's been spotty, but I'm doing it a few days each week, and remembering why I loved it so much...and realizing how many of the positions I've totally forgotten and need refreshers on!
  • Do morning pages every day -- Only missed three days in Feb, a huge improvement over Jan, when I hardly did any!
  • Document more actual daily events -- Right now, I'm using a combo of a full-size desk calendar hung on the wall for current scheduling and recording, then, once it's the new month, moving that over and ordering prints of my Instagram pictures through Printstagram and making the old month's page into a sort of giant scrapbook. It's sort of messy, but it doesn't require much more attention or effort than a regular calendar, and I like how it's looking.
  • Learn ten songs beginning to end -- I've been writing lists of ten songs I want to learn how to sing, and the only one that's consistent is What The Water Gave Me, by Florence + The Machine. It'll probably be, like, three of her songs and seven of totally random other ones.
  • Find fun ways to make the clothes I have last longer -- I started patching my favorite orange skirt last weekend, and I'm going to finish it up this weekend, and I'll post about it after that. I think it'll be cute, and when it's done, I'll be fun-patching my other favorite skirts that are so favorite that they're now full of holes.
  • Make and fill an art journal -- Very tentatively started this one, but going is slow since I haven't quite figured out how much time it'll take me to be physically creative like that and time's been tight. But I signed up for a guided art journaling course and I found a whole bunch of great art journaling blogs, and now I get them in my inbox to inspire me.
  • Create a nail polish color and a tea for each book I read -- I'm really enjoying doing this! I listed the ones I have so far on the writing blog (a few posts back, now), and I'm going to keep going. You can find all my teas on Adagio by searching for Samantha Holloway.
Considering that I haven't looked at the list since I posted it (and that's part of why I'm doing this end-of-the-month review, to make me look), and that I started half way through a short month, I think that I'm not doing all that bad!

Are you guys doing a 101 Things Project? How are you doing?

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