tis the season to celebrate not having been eaten by giant birds

January 9th at noon starts off the Seventeen And A Half Days of Aveomas! We are all very excited. We've got our tree covered in birds, we've got many of our Bought Gifts and we're working on our Made Gifts, we're writing the most terrifying carols, we're planning an Avomas Special to possibly post to the interwebs, and we'll be putting up a post on Wikipedia (mostly to see how long it lasts) and Uncyclopedia beforehand. We've created a secular gift-dealing sidekick. We've added to the Mythos. We're spreading the word.

What is Aveomas, you say?

It's only the coolest holiday every to be celebrated throughout history as of four years ago! See, we all work in retail or foodtail, and Christmas is a horrible time of overwork, screaming customers, much stress and expensive gifts. So five years ago, we suffered through one last Season and decided to call it quits. After that, we moved our gift-giving to a semi-arbitrary date in the middle-to-late January, and we've made a series of myths and stories to make a real holiday of it. Since everything is on sale after Christmas, we celebrate The Search For the Holy Bargain, and get all our Bought Gifts for cheap. And since we were directly arguing against commercialism, we make out Made Gifts ourselves, and that way, everyone gets at least two presents. We celebrate because the Giant Birds have allowed us to exist as a country and a people for another year, and we're hoping to repeat the good luck of not being fed to baby Giant Birds for our insolence. We eat chicken or turkey on Aveomas Night to thin out the competition for the Giant Birds and gain their favor, and because they are delicious and can be bought already cooked form a rotissimat. We try to be good so the Aveomas Faun called Lil Pepe will bring us liquor when he comes, instead of cutting off our feet and pickling them. And we all get together and share in jokes and feathery-meat meals and togetherness and really nice hand-made gifts.

Excellent, right?

You should all join the Aveomas Facebook Page we set up last year, and spread the word all over the world. If Take Like A Pirate Day can catch on, and the Flying Spaghetti Monster can sway minds, so can the Giant Birds!