lushness

I think my life has been too spare lately. There isn't enough in it that I could call Lush or Sumptuous, and I want to fix that. Nicer fabrics, better foods, better makeup, all the perfumes I've recently fallen in love with*-- or at the very least, I need to pay more attention to my camera and learn to take pictures of things so that they look better. And then remember to post those things here.

Because I'm not a monk**. I've just been too damn poor to get past that sort of living. And I'm getting tired of it. I'm getting tired of the constant feeling that I don't have enough money for things and that I never will-- and I'm pretty sure that at least part of perpetual poordom is accepting these things to be true, so I'm fighting against them. I'll be successful. I'm already working toward it. I have my articles, I have two jobs now, one of which is basically outside the budget***, and I'm starting school next fall in a program that should introduce me to all sorts of people who are already doing what I want to do, while simultaneously teaching me how to work in that world.

Relief. That's what I feel.

This blog is helping, like a therapist or something, to get my head where it needs to be, so thank you, readers mine, for working through my crazy with me. And thank you internet for making me do so in a public way, instead of suffering on my own. And thank you recovering economy for helping someone make just enough extra money to hire me for a few days a week, loosening up my situation even as it ties up my schedule.

* All of them from Avon, who used to only have horrible musky old-lady perfumes when I was a kid, and now has wonderful fresh things that I love: first and foremost, Rebel Rose, but also London, Jet Femme, Spotlight, Play, Vitality and 50s Glam.

** I dated someone who was willingly monklike once, and that only proved to me that I'm not an ascetic, and that's not at all what I want my life to be like. I'll leave empty rooms and bland color schemes to someone else; I want big airy rooms, vintage furniture, good and plentiful food, sunlight, a garden full of roses, and good tea every day.

*** The Budget is the list of all the bills I have to pay every month, and the usual pay covers that, so long as I don't want to buy food or toothpaste or shampoo or go to the movies or anything. Job the Second provides for that part of life that is actually living.

ps: I also want to be skinner, as has been mentioned before, but in a chic, beautiful way, not in a starving because I can't afford food with nutrients way. Hopefully Job 2 will provide for that, too, by keeping me more active and keeping me away from the icecream samples that keep thwarting my current attempts. It's time to get my food back in line, now that I can almost afford nice things to eat again.