Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Accepting myself for who I am

When I was in high school, I used to walk around reveling in my weirdness and telling people I was proud of it, but really I was acting like I was proud in an attempt to feel the way I wanted to. Some time after that, I found people who accepted me as I was, and I stopped worrying about it...but also somewhere along the line, while working jobs where I had to be able to function as a mainstream person, I started normalizing. I started thinking that I could do what everyone else did, if I did them the same ways. But you know what? My brain doesn't work like that, and as I've been working on figuring out what makes me happy, I've come to realize that just being my damn self is one of those things, and I've started working on Accepting Myself For Who I Am. Yes, it needs capitals.

Here are some things I've realized:
  • I will never, ever be able to thrive in a normal micro-managing schedule based on patterns that repeat every day.
  • I really, really hate working for people who don't realize that I'm more than a body to fill the void behind the counter.
  • Ever since I read Tottie when I was eight, I've wanted a doll house full of mismatched dolls, and there's really no reason why I can't have one.
  • I get inordinately attached to fictional characters, and, really, I think that's a good trait in a writer.
  • Southern weather just doesn't do it for me, and I'm well tired with living through the allergies just because I'm too lazy to leave them. Or too afraid.
  • I'm an introvert, and acting extroverted isn't really a survival trait or a coping mechanism, because then people want me to actually be like that, all the time, always, and it's exhausting.
  • I like to eat really good food more than I like to work out or starve myself, so I might as well get used to myself being over 100 pounds. Related: I only know how to cook for crowds, so there will always be leftovers, and it's wasteful not to eat them.
How about you. What do you just have to accept about yourself?
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