Friday, December 5, 2014

Things I'm soul-tired of thinking about

Things that should be thought about, and should be acted on or against, but that are just exhausting to carry around right now:

- Police brutality and how prevalent it is
- How horribly women are being treated all over the world--and, for me, right here in my own corner of my own country

And in my own life:
- Poorness verging on poverty and how impossible the system is when you're this low in it

It's just--it's a constant ache, like a pebble in my shoe, and I'm just tired. It's exhausting being socially aware. It's also alarming and angering and it doesn't help my struggle against either anxiety or depression, nor does it help me deal with stress.

I do t think I can just drop out like I did when I was a teen, when I wasn't connected and the internet was barely a thing. But I need to find a way to care without destroying myself--because all of this is trying to destroy me, and I just can't support it. It feels damaging, and I've worked too hard to undamage myself to be giving myself over to mass hurt like I have.

How does anyone do it? How do you not drown under it?
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